Rotary Dial Cell Phones, Orange Juice Cereal, & A Fictosexual Relationship Crisis

Summary

Do you miss rotary dial phones? If so, there’s a new cell phone waiting for you…to assemble yourself! If you’ve ever run out of milk for your cereal for breakfast in the morning, now you can just use OJ…thanks to Tropicana. There’s been people who have married animals, trees, themselves…but what about marrying a digital computer-synthesized fictional character? And what happens when the relationship develops “communication problems”? My Insane FL Nephew, “Pancho Guero” will elaborate on this one. These are some of the stupid situations we’ll sort through in this episode. And we’re just at the tip of the iceberg… 

  • A Guy Threatened Someone with a Magic Wand; 
  • 4-y/o Orders $230 Of Starbucks & Dunkin’ On Grandma’s UberEats Account; 
  • Controversial Theory: Ancient ‘Hobbits’ Are Still Alive; 
  • Lady Who Coughed on Uber Driver Now Accused of Stealing Nurse’s ID; 
  • A Man Was Arrested for Public Urination 3 Times in 10 Days; 
  • A Sheriff’s Volunteer Was Caught Selling Drugs Out of His Patrol Vehicle; 
  • Half of Parents Still Financially Support Their Adult Children; 
  • IL Main Finds 60-y/o McDonald’s Meal In His Wall During Renovation; 
  • A Guy Hooked His Microwave Up to AI, & It Tried to Murder Him; 
  • A Woman Ran Up to a Urinal & Stabbed a Guy in the Butt; 
  • Parents Angry After Teacher Confiscates Daughter’s Phone For A Week— & Uses It As Her Own; 
  • Woman Marries Her Cat To Try To Get Landlord To Let Her Keep The Animal; 
  • Woman Goes Viral On LinkedInN After Revealing She Sits Under Her Desk Whenever She Needs To Escape ‘Overstimulation’ In The Office; 
  • An Evil Twin Used a Good Twin’s ID to Steal $72,000 in Military Benefits; 
  • Hikers, Brace Yourselves for a New Poop Protocol! 

And “Pancho” has more wisdom to share for 2 more who want to “ASK PANCHO: about “My Mom Makes Me So Insecure” & ““I Went On A Date With A Guy Who Looks Like My Best Friend’s Husband”! We’ll also play along with “Pancho” with our weekly “Insane Game Show“! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/support

Transcription

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