A Brothel Lunch “Special”, The “Beyond Meat” COO Gets Beyond Stupid, & Ig Nobel Winners

Summary

If you’re looking for a bargain, my Insane FL Nephew, “Pancho Guero” has a deal for you. If you work for a company making fake meat you don’t need a story about you biting into the “meat” of the person you’re brawling with. What do scorpion sex, knob-turning, & ancient enemas have in common? They’re all nobel winners…of the stupid kind. And we have more real “winners” in this episode….

  • Why one AL town erects monuments to the boll weevil; 
  • Restaurant Sues After A Man Took Back His $3,000 Tip; 
  • Man struck by lightning while playing PlayStation in his living room; 
  • FL Man Fires Shots After Someone Says Fishing off Dock Not Allowed; 
  • Man Pounds a Hole Through to Neighbor’s Wall & Points a Gun at Him; 
  • Dad buys newborn son his own $2.8M yacht & $34.6K wardrobe; 
  • ‘Unpatriotic’ raccoons repeatedly invade official’s home, poop on flag; 
  • Man Starts Swinging Ax Around at McDonald’s; 
  • Karma? A Man Tried to Rob a Gas Station…Then Ran Out of Gas; 
  • TX Sheriff deputy gets sick after taking drugs he mistook for candy; 
  • FL Patient Couldn’t Fart or Poop After Doctor’s Mistake; 
  • A Perv Is Posing as a Reflexologist & Offering Random Women Foot Rubs; 
  • Man Drives a Mile in Reverse to Break Guinness World Record; 
  • NE Man Makes World’s Longest Journey By Pumpkin Boat on 60th Birthday; 
  • Lewd Couple Has Sex in Transparent Swimming Pool as Crowd Watches.

Play along with “Pancho” this week & see if you can do better then he can at guessing in the “Insane Game Show” & find the answers to life’s biggest questions when you here his profound wisdom as he answers more questions from those who want to “ASK PANCHO” for some advice! “Pancho” addresses the burning questions about “My Neighbor Wants To Know If I Want To Go In On A Doomsday Shelter” & “I’m Called Greedy That I Refuse To Let Mother-in-Law Lick My Ice Cream!”

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/support

Transcription

Fat-Phobic Door-Dasher, STI Cow Snot Prevention, & A Woman & a Coon Walk Into a Bar

Summary

S4E79~ Midweek BONUS Episode! –

The fat hits the fire when a junk food delivery is dropped off with a triggering note. Lubricants from cow snot may prevent herpes…and any possible sexual desires as well. A bartender went rabid when a woman brings a raccoon into a bar & passes it around. And there’s so much more rabid stupidity…

  • A Reality Star Who Makes Moonshine Was Arrested for—Making Moonshine; 
  • Scientists Just Invented Painless Tattoos; 
  • A Guy Made $100,000 Suing Telemarketers & Opened a Bar Called “The Wrong Number”; 
  • Bluetooth Mouthpiece Straps to Your Face & Muffles Your Voice for Loud Phone Calls in Public; 
  • Should you tip your vet? Consumers aghast as more businesses prompt for tips; 
  • Angry Drivers Can Get Paid $4,000 to Let Out Their Pent-Up Road Rage; 
  • Hero Chick-fil-A Worker Stopped An Attempted Carjacking. 

More current events with a “stupid spin” for the “Insane Week In Review” & more “winners” getting the weekly “Genius Awards”!

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/support

Transcription

Naked Chess, Nursing Home Strippers, & A “Mother Teresa” Ponzi Scheme

Summary

A chess player known for cheating offers to strip naked to prove he’s not cheating. Nursing home residents in wheelchairs get treated a stripper (who isn’t playing chess). “Pancho Guero”, my Insane FL Nephew (who works in finance), has a stupid tale of how the Securities & Exchange Commission busted a FL “Mother Teresa” after uncovering her ponzi scheme. And this is just what’s at the tip of the stupid iceberg. Wait ’til you see the other stupid stories we’ve managed to dig up! 

  • FL School Teacher Arrested for Twerking on Student; 
  • GA Deputy Police Chief Arrested for Soliciting a Prostitute; 
  • A FL Man Pulled a 3ft. Sword On A Cop During a Traffic Stop; 
  • A Man Was Arrested After Somehow Shooting Himself in the Backside; 
  • Woman Is Spends $4,000 to Go to HI to Scatter the Ashes of Her…Hamster; 
  • Wendy’s Employees Disabled Railroad Crossing to Make Work Shift Easier; 
  • Sly dog tricks neighbors into thinking it killed mailman; 
  • Ty Cobb’s dentures up for auction online; 
  • A Woman Was Arrested After Faking Her Own Kidnapping to Extort Her Mom…for the 4th Time; 
  • Kids Start to Realize We’re Full of Crap Around Age 6/Lies We Keep Telling Our Kids Even AFTER They Realize We’re Full of Crap; 
  • Kellogg’s Is Selling ‘Just Add Water’ Cereal with Powdered Milk; 
  • WV Coal Miners Rescue Couple Stranded in Broken-Down Electric Car; 
  • Teen Allegedly Fakes Birth Certificate to Play High School Football Again; 
  • Man Arrested for Stealing TVs from Walmart…& Selling Them in Parking Lot; 
  • School Bus Driver Tells Kids She’d “Shoot Them” If They Didn’t Stop Asking Where They’re Going. 

Play along with “Pancho” this week & see if you can do better then he can at guessing in the “Insane Game Show” & find the answers to life’s biggest questions when you here his profound wisdom as he answers more questions from those who want to “ASK PANCHO” for some advice! “Pancho” addresses the burning questions about “My Boyfriend Keeps Using My Favorite Pillow” & “I Just Realized I’m The Friend That Flakes All The Time”

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/support

Transcription

Illegally Feeding The Homeless, Coffee Balls, & A Stupid 9/11 Menu Theme

Summary

S4E7 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! – 

Only in America can you get the cops called on you for trying to buy a homeless guy a meal. That’s what one woman found out at a Popeye’s in GA. Do you like your ground coffee wrapped in seaweed when you brew it? The Swiss think that the Earth-Friendly crowd will. Would you eat at a restaurant that served a menu based on the tragedy from the 9/11 attacks? Turns out, most wouldn’t & the restaurant pulled the menu. This & more stupidity awaits in this bonus episode!

  • Half of Us Would Choose to Stop Sleeping If Our Bodies Didn’t Need It; 
  • ‘Extremely toxic’ Puss Caterpillars spotted in FL; 
  • Man Survives 3 Days Lost in the Wilderness After Losing Arm in Alligator Attack; 
  • TikToker Says She Resigned from Her Job After Given Ultimatum By Boss to Socialize More; 
  • Dye spill turns stretch of SC Interstate highway pink; 
  • A Man Was Arrested for DUI…After Driving His Car Into the Ocean; 
  • He pulled a strange fish with BIG teeth from a FL pond. Was it a piranha? 

More current events with a “stupid spin” for the “Insane Week In Review” & more “winners” getting the weekly “Genius Awards”!

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/support

Transcription

Ancient Roman Phallus Carving, Interstate Alfredo Spill, & A Carjacking Coitus Interruptus

Summary

A record-breaking carving of male manhood has been uncovered & my Insane FL Nephew, “Pancho Guero”, has the cold, hard, facts! Italian food lovers wept over spilled Alfredo sauce that creamed I-55 in Memphis, TN. Nothing kills a romantic mood like a carjacking & “Pancho” has the stupid situation one couple found themselves in when they were at the height of romance! The stupid truck has delivered another load…

  • The Trailer for “Winnie the Pooh: Blood & Honey” Is Out; 
  • Study finds: Men happier in relationships when they think they’re funnier; 
  • Carjackers interrupt couple having sex, leave them naked in the streets; 
  • Firefighters find ‘unusual smell’ aboard plane—was bottle of nail polish; 
  • Cop Arrested for Posing…as a Cop; 
  • Can You Puke on Command? If So, This Company Is Hiring: 
  • A Guy Broke into an Animal Shelter & Let The Dogs Out; 
  • Japanese Government Struggles To Get Rid Of The Floppy Disk; 
  • Iowa town Can’t Find Their time capsule; 
  • Rudest Cities in America Include Philadelphia (& Philly Has Beef with It); 
  • Woman Calls 911…Because She Was Stuck Upside-Down at the Gym; 
  • An Intruder Was Caught with His Pants Down While Charging His Phone; 
  • Pilot Threatens to Turn Plane Around if People Didn’t Stop AirDropping Nude Pics; 
  • Cabbage Patch Kids hospital where dolls ‘give birth’ & get adopted freaks woman out; 
  • A Guy Met Up with His Ex to Get Money for the Tires She Slashed…& She Stabbed Him; 
  • Brilliant or STUPID? Putting Your Toilet Seat in the Dishwasher; 
  • CT Man Apprehended After Masturbating While Skateboarding Along Trails.

Play along with “Pancho” this week & see if you can do better then he can at guessing in the “Insane Game Show” & find the answers to life’s biggest questions when you here his profound wisdom as he answers more questions from those who want to “ASK PANCHO” for some advice! “Pancho” addresses the burning questions about “My Wife & I Don’t Share A Lot Of Interests” & “I’m Self Conscious About Dating Because I Have To Pee A Lot”

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/support

Transcription

Adult-Only Airline Flights, Gravy Wrestling, & Cool Catsup Clothes

S4E5 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! –

Wouldn’t you love to book a peaceful flight on an airline with NO screaming babies. So would one UK woman. Nothing says the end of a pandemic than the return of wrestling in a vat of gravy. Nothing screams COOL like wearing clothes stained with ketchup… and least that’s what Heinz is hoping. And there’s even more stupidity ahead…

  • Canadian Politician Has Bike Stolen an Hour After Promising to Reduce Bike Theft; 
  • Guy Wears Pink Wig While Getting Laid Off; 
  • Survey finds young people follow news, but without much joy; 
  • New Yorkers With Pot Convictions Will Now Be the 1st to Get to Sell It; 
  • Castaway Survives 11 Days at Sea on Floating Freezer; 
  • Boy Finds Giant Backyard Worm the Size of a Snake; 
  • A TikToker’s Top 16 Rules for a 1st Date.

And the weakly round-up of the stupid current events in the “Insane Week In Review” along with our “winning” examples from the “Genius Awards”!

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop!

Frozen Wiener Pops, Boyfriend Haul on TikTok, & A Genital Nightmare

Summary

Oscar Meyer has the answer to a hot summer day…a Popsicle…but it’s not what you think. A new TikTok trend has girls presenting their shirtless beaus for display as they point out the guys’ best “features”, but it’s not the guys who are upset about it… If you are prone to walking or talking in your sleep, take note of this story that my Insane FL Nephew, “Pancho Guero” tells about a man who was acting out his dream of slaughtering a goat…on HIMSELF. I couldn’t dream up half of the stupidity you’re gonna get in this episode… 

  • Hungarian Weather Officials Fired After Inaccurate Forecast; 
  • A Woman Was Charged $8,000 After the Rental Car Company Claimed She Drove 22,000 Miles in 3 Days; 
  • Two Women Made Fake Bomb Threats Against Campbell’s Soup…”Mmm, Mmm, STUPID; 
  • The Average Parent Deals with 6 Mini-Emergencies a Day; 
  • A Tesla Owner Had His Digital Key Implanted Under His Skin; 
  • There’s a Potential Cure for Food Allergies…But It Smells Like Dog Poop; 
  • Toyota Is Working on “Hitchless Towing,” Where 2 Vehicles Are Only Connected Through WiFi; 
  • Man Threatens to Call Cops on a Burglar Unless He Cleaned His Bathroom; 
  • Woman Drives 30 Miles Before Noticing Naked Man Asleep in Back Seat; 
  • Video shows young girl walk alligator on leash in Philadelphia park; 
  • A Naked FL Man Climbed Through a Taco Bell Drive-Thru Window; 
  • Cabbage Patch Kids hospital where dolls ‘give birth’ & get adopted freaks woman out; 
  • A 25-y/o Floridian Could Become the 1st Gen Z Congress Member; 
  • A Tire Fell off a Moving Jacksonville School Bus, with Kids Inside
  • Man Arrested After Trying to Call a Prostitute…While on His Honeymoon. 

Play along with “Pancho” this week & see if you can do better then he can at guessing in the “Insane Game Show” & find the answers to life’s biggest questions when you here his profound wisdom as he answers more questions from those who want to “ASK PANCHO” for some advice! “Pancho” addresses the burning questions on “Is It Corny To Put Notes In Your HS Student’s Lunch?” & “Is Snacking “On the Go” Ever Okay?”

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/support

Transcription

A Crass Cussin’ Coffeehouse, A Disorderly Disney Princess, & Quiet Firings

S4E3 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! – 

A startup coffee shop in AL that goes by the “Biblical” term for “donkey” finds the local town fathers acting very stubborn about their new enterprise. A Pocahontas Princess from Disney gets disorderly after getting plastered. While some employees are “quiet quitting”, they may also be the victim of a “quiet firing” by their boss. What is with all this stupidity? Find out this & more…

  • New Dating Trend: Having Dinner in a U-Haul; 
  • Have You Tried the “Pantyhose-Candle Challenge”?; 
  • Millennials Are Dumping Streaming Services…for TV Antennas;
  •  4 in 10 teens can’t tell the difference between real & fake medical information online; 
  • A Man Didn’t Like a Cigar He Bought…So He Set The Store On Fire; 
  • MO School District Brings Spanking Back—& Says Some Parents Are Grateful; 
  • A Drunk Driver Tried to Convince a Cop She’s Sober…By Doing Ballet.

More current events with a “stupid spin” for the “Insane Week In Review” & more “winners” getting the weekly “Genius Awards”!

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop!

Best Places To Have Sex..NOT On A Ferris Wheel, Doggy Donuts, & Ice Cold Balls

Summary

Where, if you prefer such things, would you like to do some boot-knockin’? There’s a poll to find out…but it doesn’t include a Ferris Wheel–which is where one couple picked. My Insane FL Nephew, “Pancho Guero”, explains that the patrons at the amusement park were not amused at this particular “attraction”. The couple was even aware that people were watching. But so were the cops. People who treat their pooches like people was delighted to have a doughnut with their doggies. And Krispy Kreme was happy to oblige. If you’re trying to amp-up your sperm count, you should freeze your balls off. And people are doing just that. You’re going to crap gold bricks when you see the rest of the stupidity for this episode: 

  • GOLD Could Hold the Key to IBD Treatment That’s Cheaper & Non-Invasive; 
  • People Who Play Music While Studying More Likely to Have Higher GPA; 
  • Forklift stolen from CA Home Depot in broad daylight; 
  • A Gym Is Offering Free Hypnosis to Trick People into Enjoying Exercise; 
  • Your Kid’s Backpack Has 30 Times More Germs Than Your Phone; 
  • Forklift stolen from CA Home Depot in broad daylight; 
  • Scientists Find Glowing Arctic Fish With Antifreeze In Its Veins; 
  • A Guy Trying to Carjack People Got Hit by a Car…Twice
  • Here’s Why Tommy Lee Posted His Wiener on Twitter; 
  • Climate Change Could Force the Loch Ness Monster Out of Hiding; 
  • Campaign Offers Free Belts to High Schoolers With Sagging Pants; 
  • A ‘2-headed cat’ post from Animal Shelter gets attention on Facebook; 
  • Guy Drops Daughter Off for 1st Day of School, Then Wrestled an Alligator; 
  • Man Sprayed People with Bear Spray Outside of Restaurant.

Play along with “Pancho” this week & see if you can do better then he can at guessing in the “Insane Game Show” & find the answer to life’s biggest questions when you here his profound wisdom as he answers more questions from those who want to “ASK PANCHO” for some advice!

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop! — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/eriklane/support

Transcription

Monster Moths in WA State, 1st Date Church Felony, & Weaponizing Crows

S4E1 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! – 

We begin another season of stupidity with a Godzilla-sized moth found in Washington state…and it wasn’t squashed…it was photographed! What would be a good romantic first date? Breaking into a church to play piano, then robbing the collection plate perhaps? If you need to get even with your enemies…and you have plenty of time on your hands to plot your revenge, you may want to consider making CROWS your new pets. And the new season has more stupidity to share…

  • Man finds rare purple pearl inside a clam while dining in Delaware; 
  • A Motorcyclist Got Pulled Over Because the Mannequin He Was Delivering Didn’t Have a Helmet On; 
  • A Woman Escaped & Shot at Officers After Being Detained…Not Arrested; 
  • What is thirdhand smoke? Study finds even handling a smoker’s clothing could cause cancer; 
  • Most of Us Admit We Like to Gossip—at Least a Little Bit; 
  • Couple Arrested After Drugs Found Next to Toddler’s Happy Meal in SUV; 
  • Internet Debate: What Folder Color Should Be Used for Each Subject? 

More current events that I’ve made stupid with the “Insane Week In Review”, more “winners” from the “Genius Awards”, & I’ve got a new “Verbal Meme” to pass along, too.

Don’t forget to download the TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the “Insane Erik Lane’s Stupid World” Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It’s FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop!